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Overweight girlfriend – How To Talk About A Significant Other's Weight

Its her choice to participate and prioritize fitness, and she can just as easily choose not to.

Lucas Cox
Saturday, November 3, 2018
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  • Amber F. I know we both have it in ourselves to overcome this, we just have to figure it out ….

  • If this overweight girlfriend the way she feels and acts now, what is life going to be like with her 20 years in the future? Sometimes the weight-related directly and indirectly negative things are frustrating and annoying, and more often I don't think about them, or they are overwhelmed by the good things.

  • She will find someone who will love her at this size, and at others. All good things, but they are also all voluntary.

  • Ryan August 21, at am. It sucks.

Other helpful communities:

It's not for the fainthearted. Hit the silk. How much do you two exercise?

I fought my weight my entire adult life and, fortunately, had a husband who was like you. I put up with his smelly ass at midnight. Invite her to try new things with you. Laurie April 14, at am. Be honest with her about how you feel and describe the impact of her lifestyle choices on you. My girlfriend is the opposite. Tim July 6, at am.

Tell her you want ovfrweight grow old with her and if she doesn't change her ways she will die young. Deborah January 30, at pm. Sandi June 28, at pm. That's all there is to it man. You can tell her what you want, but be clear that if she isn't willing or able to share the life that you want for yourself, you will have to leave her. If not, leave.

56 thoughts on “6 Ways to Deal With Your Girlfriend’s Weight Gain”

You should have said something as it was happening, but now it's too late overweight girlfriend do anything, especially since she, instead of taking action to get thinner, just gets mad at you. Let her go and find someone else who values her more no matter what she looks like! In closing: every marriage has obstacles; the trick is to find someone who presents you with obstacles that you find easy to overcome, and vice versa. For me it was when I had to buy a pair of jeans with a 38 waist.

Say all you have to say overweight girlfriend and to the point. If she's not willing to listen, or not willing to work on this with you Since I live in Japan, I may be operating on a different scale. Follow up from a member who would prefer to remain anonymous.

Overweight girlfriend might involve exercising together, or going to couples counseling. The account details entered are not currently associated with an Irish Times subscription. Send questions to askamy tribune. However, I really love her. I have no plans of wanting to break up or find someone else. Or you could just look at why you think someone who has gained weight is not attractive to you anymore. Ryan August 21, at am.

How to Deal With Your Feelings About Your Girlfriend’s Body

Tim June 29, at am. Because we had a lot of alone time, she wanted to be overweight girlfriend intimate. I tried one or two times to tell her how to lose weight, which was a huge mistake. I really want to help her find it. Should I have let it go if I considered it a smaller issue in our relationship?

  • Deborah and Andy, I can see both of your points.

  • Not to mention work stress, aging parents, economic and environmental issues, and accidents! You both benefit.

  • Josh July 4, at pm. Some want to use weight to undermine their S.

I am a year-old college graduate girlfreind my overweight girlfriend serious romantic relationship. It affects both party and the man has the right to speak out without being looked upon as a shallow person. Variant more transmissible than viruses that cause Mers, Sars, Ebola, colds, seasonal flu and smallpox. Its her choice to participate and prioritize fitness, and she can just as easily choose not to.

I'm a very thin guy and have naturally gravitated physically toward thinner girls. Why a girl or o boy for that matter would start gaining weight when they get into a relationship? Women are just as superficial as men. All of these answers are the tried and true fixes i. My impression is that Tim had already had that conversation with his girlfriend more than once.

Ask Roe: I know this question doesn’t make me look great

Facebook Twitter Flipboard Email. Overweight girlfriend women experience periods in girlfriwnd run up to menopause that disrupt their lives. She just needs a different attitude and love for herself. For you and me Andy, the last thing we would ever want is for a girl to lie to us about their attraction to us.

When my gf gained weight, I lost my sex drive and most of overweight girlfriend attraction toward her disappeared. Are overewight shallow for not being attracted to girlfriends who gain weight? But a sudden increase in weight could by a side-effect of a few things, including illness, medication, stress or depression, etc. But whether it is or not, I encourage you to examine those messages that you've received about what women should look like, and how you might open your mind a bit.

ALSO READ: Haemostatic Tests For Hypothyroidism

Surveys, overweiht requests, journalistic and academic research questions must be sent to modmail here and approved prior to posting. I do know that men are visual beings, so not being attracted to a new wife visually could weigh very heavy on not just the man, but also on the marriage — and I get that. Sustaining a relationship together means hopefully staying healthy. But, I realized that would just make me feel worse. You could also invite her out for hikes and bike rides. I'm in a great relationship with a great woman and we're starting to think about taking the next step moving in together leading relatively quickly to an engagement.

And, you may be struggling with questions that are very difficult to answer. About 2 years after we met she gained about 30lbs, and our sex overrweight plummeted. I also try to lead by example by working out a lot, and we generally eat very healthy, but we do drink in the evenings. Sponsored Preparation is key for an effective cyber-attack response. She will find someone who will love her at this size, and at others. I still love her and think that I always will.

I can only control mine, and give her the option to join my lifestyle. And many women are just as concerned about body type as men are. One huge change would be for you to accept your girlfriend exactly as she is. She looked completely different, in shape and very sexy.

If you're worried about your girlfriend's weight increasing in the future, positively changing your lifestyle overweight girlfriendnow, is a good way to make sure that girlfriwnd happen, and creating a plan for both of you is a better way to raise your issues without making it All About Her. Amber F. If you love this woman and you let her go over this, you will regret it. I recommend you set it up and go with her.

She'd overweight girlfriend wrong though. Andy July 4, at am. Why not? Weight gain is the result of lack of self-care and self respect and poor life choices.

56 thoughts on “6 Ways to Deal With Your Girlfriend’s Weight Gain”

Like I said, be self aware, and approach with love. Sandi June 28, at pm. Hi, I think if your girlfriend is gaining weight, you should love her no matter what.

Wont date a guy overweight girlfriend he is a certain height. Oveeweight in Things To Do. Being able to discuss her weight constructively is no easy task. I know we both have it in ourselves to overcome this, we just have to figure it out …. Thank you for your courage — it takes alot of courage to say how you feel and what you really think. No matter how beautiful, slim, or smart your girlfriend is, you and she will go through rough times in your relationship.

  • Get into an accident that causes a deformity? One huge change would be for you to accept your girlfriend exactly as she is.

  • That's admirable. JKay July 12, at pm.

  • I saw her again. I am now 20 pounds heavier than I was when we met and was just diagnosed with hypothyroidism, so I believe that to be why I inexplicably gained weight, despite healthy eating and exercise.

  • He presumably liked her looks when he pursued her. Though it is a stretch for me to imagine women being this shallow.

I recognize that this sounds like the perfect MeFi troll, but I'm for real. She IS so lazy she can't change her diet a little bit and lose some weight. Overweight girlfriend though, honestly, if you were my boyfriend, I would WANT you to give me a "gym, or else" ultimatum, if all of the other more subtle attempts have failed. No matter what you say and how you say it, it'll probably still paint you as the bad guy. The more difficult a conversation, the more important it is to have.

You can find why she overwieght unhappy. I don't know what's going to happen in this overweight girlfriend. I did, and she did not respond with as much understanding as I hoped. She just needs a different attitude and love for herself. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years now. She cries to me all the time about how she wants to change and I tell her that she has it inside of her and she can do it.

Klaus June 26, at am. Our relationship never overweight girlfriend on her weight, but I just want to come out stronger. I still love her and think that I always will.

Not that we parted over her weight. It's simultaneously overweight girlfriend for your physical attraction to her to oveerweight, due to a change in her appearance. I may not have 6 pack abs, but I'm still fairly lean and muscular from watching my diet, lifting weights, and running each week. Posts must contain a title, description, a TLDR, and basic information such as ages, genders, length of relationship etc. Fuck, parents often put pressure on their kids to lose weight - do they not love their children? Lads, Men, Males — practical advice please Females, Birds — stop getting lazy once you have entered a relationship.

Since then, she has gained about overweight girlfriend lbs. You can live with this. Laurie August 21, iverweight pm. Please try to tell yourself that. Once you get her exercising on a regular basis, the food kind of comes naturally. You're perfectly justified in dumping someone because they don't take care of themselves. I saw her again.

All of these answers are the tried and true fixes i. There is no guarantee that any marriage will last. No deal breakers, though. It's also just a health concern-- and this is someone you're planning a long future with, so it's just sheer concern for your honey's well-being.

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen November 11, at am. How one couple made overweight girlfriend kitchen the heart of their home. If fact, shame can cause your girlfriend to gain more weight and feel worse about herself. However, I also really love her and think she is really beautiful. I agree with the above comment.

  • And the inescapable fact facing all of us is that people age, and that changes us, too.

  • Or if she told you she is overweight girlfriend to have six kids and be a stay at home mom and expected you to support her?

  • Follow the Sugars on Twitter dearsugarradio.

  • Thanks for your comment, Jane. I could only lose and maintain my weight loss when I was in the right frame of mind.

  • They are out there experiencing life together, including good food, having fun and they gain weight. I knew he would probably be happier if I was thin, but he never said a negative word.

  • Best of luck.

Would you be okay with her leaving you over that? She finally realized how important staying fit meant to my programmed mind. Tim says he is not going to leave her regardless if she does or does not lose weight. Portion sizes as well! I think that if you partner is not attracted to you any longer, they should step up their game a little as well. Life beyond college is actually more stressful - even progressively more stressful - as you age. Best of luck.

I can only control mine, and give her the option to join my lifestyle. I would say it worries girlfriebd constantly, overweight girlfriend someone I love destroy herself and not even care. We've been together for 7 years, she's just started her last year of university, but while she's been there she has put on a huge amount of weight over lbs. Look at her family and see how healthy they are. This is inevitable, especially when children and jobs and money and healthy issues come up. Feminism Masculism.

It may inspire her. I do think that this was overweight girlfriend to your lover, and she's probably going to carry this into your sex life, as well. When we first met I was extremely attracted to her. She was shocked, confused and taken aback. Tim June 28, at am.

Overweight girlfriend not as if you began looking at other women or simply want something new. Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet. It might be worthwhile to have a serious talk and make mutual plans to get in shape. Sick of mysogyny you are clueless.

ALSO READ: Hypothyroidism Weight Gain Rx

As hard as it is, it's still easier than wishing down the road, after things did go south, that you didn't discuss it. I just girlfriebd to know what I'm getting into. You're not ditching her because she got fat. If you don't know, get a pen and paper and do the math. After 7 years, I think you owe it to yourself to dig deeper into what's causing her weight gain than "she uses condiments on everything".

Need encouragement? If she lost the weight, she could easily be a model. I hope you or your significant other always remain at your most attractive. December 31, PM ET. You best be damn sure as a woman you do not compromise too much of your career potential for some superficial sap whose limited sexual imagination taps out without the young nubile bodies he thinks he entitled to from his regular visits to porn sites. Your partner has put on weight, and her appearance has changed — and yours will too, over time.

If they would like to lose a significant amount of weight, make sure to consult a doctor so that overweight girlfriend is done in a healthy way. This is how willing she is to help herself. I've seen women do this at each verge of the downturn of the relationship and purposely try to get pregnant again to keep him. And you won't be leaving because your girlfriend got fat - you'll be leaving because she stopped caring about herself. This might involve exercising together, or going to couples counseling. If someone is happy or content they dont gain weight suddenly. But I can't be the guy that ditched his girlfriend of 7 years because she got fat.

Sometimes people need some tough love to make the right decisions. Overweight girlfriend at raisefrequency January 27, at pm. I'm sure in a lot of ways, she is the same person you've always loved. I acknowledge that this is not fair to him. Just get rid of her for now, though, seriously man!

When you talk to your girlfriend [about food, exercise, or normal tsh levels but signs of hypothyroidism gain], offer lots of love and support. If she's not, you have to let her go and see if that gives her the wake up call she needs. Right, do what you have to in order to make things work! It's also just a health concern-- and this is someone you're planning a long future with, so it's just sheer concern for your honey's well-being. Maybe she has the same feelings about you. Have you guys talked it over? I'm going to commit a minor sin, and say there is nothing wrong with closing your eyes and fantasizing about someone else at that point.

ALSO READ: Pints Of Blood In Body Loss Death

Even if it remains unsaid, she can read between the lines that her weight affects you. These comments, and similar ones one the web, confirm to me that I live in a patriarchal society. So I spoke to my therapist and my roommate, and although they're both men, they both thought that if it was something on my mind and was making me a little uneasy that I should bring it up with her. Lads, Men, Males — practical advice please Females, Birds — stop getting lazy once you have entered a relationship. I am having this issue big time.

Who cooks? It is difficult to talk about faults overweight girlfriend it can be hurtful to talk to someone you love only to be judged harshly. Like eating healthy with you ect. This is what occurred to me: 1 There is nothing you can do to motivate your girlfriend lose weight.

Chances are she may get motivated, lose but signs weight, and then shove it in your face Deep down you know this. This is a great opportunity to get to know yourself better! Ultimately, my being able to love someone and be attracted to them physically says much more about me than it ever can about the loved one.

Please enter your email address so we can send you a link to reset your password. Best of luck mate I hope it works out for both of you and you both enjoy a happy and fulfilling relationship together. On this episode, the hosts talk about a touchy subject: physical appearance and weight. I love her and would never ask or demand her to change just for me, but I've been thinking more and more about how her weight bothers me a little bit. She tried to explain how some issues are so sensitive, touchy and personal for women that they should never really be brought up for the sake of the satisfaction in the relationship. It bothered me a little but I was very attracted to her inside and out.

ALSO READ: Hypothyroidism Meaning In Hindi

That amount of weight is just insane and it's perfectly reasonable that it would bother you. Girlfgiend do know that men are visual beings, so not being attracted to a new wife visually could weigh very heavy on not just the man, but also on the marriage — and I get that. Read fitness blogs, magazines, and books. Fresh ingredients such as vegetables and fruits. Shoulder tat? I'm currently in the middle heading down again. They feel relevant to me, though, and so here goes.

Meanwhile she has become more attracted to me and very sexually needy. The older we get, the farther it goes and the longer it stays away! There's something in him that feels a little bit unmanned by her being larger. Like I said, be self aware, and approach with love. I am having this issue big time. My boyfriend is thin as is his entire family.

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I love her and would never ask or overweight girlfriend her to change just for me, but I've been thinking more and more about how her weight bothers me a little bit. Men may give you the time of day. I really want this relationship to work. I still dont even know what to say to her, but delaying this under the hope that she will change is unfair and only hurts us both. And that proved true for me.

All of these answers are the tried and true fixes i. Not to mention work stress, aging parents, economic overweight girlfriend environmental issues, and accidents! Your comments about thin girls, your neurolinguistic programming, your thoughts about rewarding her like she is a dog will never work. Tenden June 9, at pm. Sick of Misogyny May 20, at pm. I maintained that same weight for the next five years, but two years ago, I started gaining.

Thank you for the advice. Hosts Steve Almond and Cheryl Strayed offer "radical empathy" and advice on everything from relationships and parenthood to dealing with drug problems or anxiety. As a sensitive guy and a loving boyfriend, your goal is to build a healthier, stronger relationship with your girlfriend. Why a girl or o boy for that matter would start gaining weight when they get into a relationship? However, I also really love her and think she is really beautiful. You know, maybe it is the man himself who is making her fat! I love when readers point out the flaws and weaknesses of my work — thank you, talbot!

  • This is unusual because most married couples gain weight after the wedding, not lose it! Tim I know exactly how you feel.

  • If so, I would say you're all clear. Anthony March 28, at pm.

  • You know, normal tsh levels but signs of hypothyroidism it is the man himself who is making her fat! Its her choice to participate and prioritize fitness, and she can just as easily choose not to.

  • Any advice?

  • Be honest with her about how you feel and describe the impact of her lifestyle choices on you.

Girlfrien remember that as much overweight girlfriend you may want, you cannot force her to do anything. Key: This is a graph of Weight Gain Based dumping. Or fat, but she is wonderful? The numbers are pretty powerful. And I do love her, but at this point I'm embarrassed to even go out with her.

You have to mean it. It's not just about her body. Is normal tsh levels but signs of hypothyroidism anything that I can do to help my girlfriend lose weight? When you talk to your girlfriend [about food, exercise, or weight gain], offer lots of love and support.

More in Things To Do

I know you don't want to hurt her feelings, but when you're going to be in a committed monogamous relationship you're also entitled to make it clear that your partner needs to make some effort to be physically attractive and not deliberately destroy their health. Provide empathy. I think if your girlfriend is gaining weight, you should love her no matter what.

If a girl told me I needed to work out more and she would be more attracted to me if I did, or I should part my hair a certain way or wear a certain suit, I would do it all and be all over that and very appreciative. I can only control mine, and give her the option to join my lifestyle. They are out there experiencing life together, including good food, having fun and they gain weight. A new life in Ireland changed by a cancer diagnosis Isabella Costa Rocha got her diagnosis two months after arriving from Brazil. And even though I love you and you're wonderful and I don't have any complaints about you, I've decided that I'm going to ask you to be physically perfect for me, too. He thanks you by inviting you to share it with him, thus letting you enjoy the gift while also witnessing him enjoying it. Women are just as superficial as men.

Do any of them actually work? Overweight girlfriend can I try at least — neuro-lynguistic-programming? Over-exercising and undereating are not healthy. Congratulations on actually attempting to lose weight. Maybe the guy is part of the problem…. Get my free weekly "She Blossoms" email: Your Name.

  • They are just less sexually imaginative. Meanwhile she has become more attracted to me and very sexually needy.

  • Maybe suggest that you'd like to start eating healthier and doing more don't suggest the gym right off, too many eyes, too much potential judgment in her brain. Good luck.

  • You sound resentful.

  • Let her go and find someone else who values her more no matter what she looks like!

  • I hope. If a girlfriend starts gaining weight after starting a relationship, is it because of the stress or pressure of the relationship?

  • Chris June 2, at am.

If you're thinking "should I commit" at all then the answer's "No". Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be overweight girlfriend. I know for myself, compliments never made me feel complacent, it made me want to look good for my husband and for him to be proud to have me on his arm. Now I'm just worried. Why is she gaining weight? All good things, but they are also all voluntary.

Have a question for the Sugars? Deborah January 30, at pm. As women overwsight more money and achieve more status in the workplace, studies have proven they choose more attractive mates. Get active together by swimming, dancing, hiking, biking, or skiing. This is what occurred to me:. Being physically attracted to your partner is important, but consider where attraction and love originate. I can tell.

Dear Sugars

Encourage her to see a doctor, there may be another underlaying problem in her weight gain, or maybe her doctor can help her lose weight. Or a certain sized bank account. He may be shallow, and maybe I am too for feeling like he deserves to feel proud of his lady. The healthiest, most loving and helpful thing you can do for your girlfriend is to find ways to support her journey to health and wellness.

  • Best of luck. Now, I am beginning to be even less attracted to her because of her attitude.

  • But I can't be the guy that ditched his girlfriend of 7 years because she got fat. I tell her it's not that simple.

  • We live together and love each other. Many women experience periods in the run up to menopause that disrupt their lives.

  • It's her way of making you feel like shit because she feels like shit. She's no longer just overweight, she is actually obese.

  • Denise December 29, at pm.

In this overweight girlfriend, I encourage you to talk to someone professional who can help you approach your girlfriend in a kind, loving way. One of the hardest things about relationships is accepting our partners for who they are! Now she looks like a different person. I feel like I owe it to him to lose the weight I gained, because he is very fit and handsome and deserves for me to look my best.

For a moment, ignore the social normal tsh of this, and ask yourself if that's something you lverweight prepared to do in the future? Or fat, but she is wonderful? Why would you put a stop to that over something that might happen in the future her gaining more weight? Ryan August 21, at am.

How to Deal With Your Feelings About Your Girlfriend’s Body

I dated a overweight girlfriend for 6 and half years. Your question suggests a much more practical set of concerns: will our quality of life be reduced by her weight? Frame this in terms of her health. Tell her that.

Who can you sit down with and really talk to? No insults, no threats of violence, no encouraging violence, no harassment, no trolling, no advertising normal tsh levels subs, no spam. This thread is closed to new comments. High fat, greasy foods are not an option anymore, because they'll interfere with the exercise. Congratulations on actually attempting to lose weight. However, I also really love her and think she is really beautiful. It may be emotional mindless eating or comfort munching or psychological an eating disorder or food obsession.

Overall though, honestly, if you were my boyfriend, I would WANT you to give me a "gym, or else" ultimatum, if all of the other more subtle attempts have failed. I love my girlfriend. You're in a tough spot, but don't give up, you can help her! Wait 3 weeks for your skinny tan girlfriend to show up. Go to couples counseling.

I'm a overweight girlfriend thin guy and have naturally gravitated physically toward thinner girls. He thanks you by inviting you to share it with him, thus letting you enjoy the gift while also witnessing him enjoying it. Any advice is appreciated.

  • Sure, but what if you just stay in the relationship out of a sense of obligation or pity?

  • Horseback riding.

  • I love her and would never ask or demand her to change just for me, but I've been thinking more and more about how her weight bothers me a little bit. Now, I am beginning to be even less attracted to her because of her attitude.

  • I went up and down, I would be at a normal weight for years, and then gain and be fat for a while, and then back down again. You are a loving, kind, compassionate, caring man who wants to do the right thing.

  • On this episode, the hosts talk about a touchy subject: physical appearance and weight. And, like anyone, I crave physical intimacy too.

  • Decide which you see first. She finally realized how important staying fit meant to my programmed mind.

Not an Irish Times subscriber? Deborah and Andy, I can see both girofriend your points. Follow the Sugars on Twitter dearsugarradio. I would suggest just not making weight a part of the conversation for a while. But to do that to your body in a new relationship is super rude, and honestly sad and unhealthy.

It's weird. Follow up from a member overweihht would prefer to remain anonymous. My ultimatum would have overweight girlfriend between and I don't know what else to say. My impression is that Tim had already had that conversation with his girlfriend more than once. I have no idea, to be honest.

Once she has more tools for dealing with the stress, and she doesn't feel so hopeless, you'll be better equipped to tackle the weight issue. I'm friends with a woman I used to date, and anonymous here could well be her current boyfriend. She really has to choose to lose weight because she wants to, not because other people want her to. The only way I can see her taking steps toward better health is if she stops using food as a 'crutch' or as a means to cope with unpleasant feelings. Stop taking maxims upon which to base your life from chick flicks.

You can find girlfdiend she is unhappy. The chemistry was amazing! She looked overweight girlfriend different, in shape and very sexy. Isabella Costa Rocha got her diagnosis two months after arriving from Brazil. You and your balding, beer-bellied, back-haired bodies will be traded in for newer, younger models. Since then, she has gained about 60 lbs.

Encourage your partner. Find ways to support the physical activities your girlfriend likes to do. You want different things for the future. Maybe you know that your girlfriend has an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia. I want her to get better for me and for us and for her. Maybe the guy is part of the problem….

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