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Guy friend wants me to lose weight: When the Man You Love Asks You to Lose Weight

So what if the pressure becomes too much to manage.

Lucas Cox
Friday, February 8, 2019
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  • You deserve to feel unconditional love from your partner. Like Tom Cruise at a Scientology review, I want to be perfectly clear: I am not endorsing body shaming in any way when talking about weight loss.

  • I want to keep the best possible Akela around. Thanks for every other informative blog.

  • My partner is actually quite overweight, his BMI is

  • Unfortunately, you are incompatible.

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You are so loved and so not defined by your size. Confidence helps but trust me, confidence is not why these men now approach a thinner women. Your story is perfect for a lighthearted romantic comedy.

Sometimes, the best way to convince someone to make a change is guy friend wants me to lose weight have them come to the realization on their own, perhaps with a slight nudge. Be sure to share your boundaries and stay open to talking through this. I would encourage you to have a very clear conversation with your partner and let him know it is simply off limits to discuss your weight, body, or food choices. I so understand your frustration.

ALSO READ: Low Intensity Exercise Examples To Lose Weight

This is instinctual, involuntary. He says that a wife should strive to be what her husband wants. Really think about that. What if she gains 3 lbs tomorrow?! He heard my disappointments. I stood there. What dream breaks your heart just to think of it?

It is very hard to lose weight and harder for some, takes someone to just have some empathy and love to understand and help you through it. Your ideas about him shifted completely, just because he got in shape, looked destined for success, and started blowing cash on his looks. Honeycomb8 Posted April 9, Cherylyn Posted April 6, You need to strive to try to do better, for your own health or you could regret it down the line. I didn't even take care of myself.

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Because in my mind, if he didn't want me when I was fat then he shouldn't want me now. With love, Sarah. Hi Amanda, thank you so much for sharing and for trusting me with your words. Already a subscriber? What kind of a career, what kinds of friends, what kind of a life, what state of grace could you achieve that might make you feel that way about yourself?

Thus we both have put on abut 20 points. Nikki says:. That is the goal. I lose weight struggled with my weight for my entire adult life, and have had some success with losing 20 pounds here and there but then it comes back. Even bacon! What God taught me this week about money and goals. I dismissed the grief I heard in his voice when I had to tell him about an emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of men that had no business handling me at all.

ALSO READ: Physical Activity Cardiorespiratory Fitness And Adiposity Medical Definition

In the four years or so since we became friends he has frlend nothing but strong, smart, selfless, and surprisingly charismatic the type that ALWAYS knows the perfect thing to say. I am furthermore fascinated by sofa cleaning prices, you could discuss that sometimes. Some guys just like skinny girls. And is he really upset, or just using my feelings for him against me? I was running away from my problem without breaking a sweat. I'm 53 and no I didn't gain weight just because I'm older. Newsletter Sign Up.

All rights reserved. Hi Sarah, thank you so much for your article it gave me a lot to think about. You deserve to feel unconditional love from your partner. My heart aches and I feel small, like you mentioned. Btw I love my veggies and eat them a lot!

What If Your Husband or Boyfriend Doesn't Like Your Body?

His rebukes of my scale obsession put healthy habits in perspective. Choosing a healthy lifestyle says a lot about the new you. I eat normally and healthy enough and when I was 42 I had a stroke.

These words are for us all. Got a question for Polly? Kinda gave up on you. He was actually just wanting me to feel strong, so I can be comfortable during my pregnancy. My body is beautiful and birthed two children. I so understand your frustration.

What if your boyfriend or girlfriend offers to help you exercise to lose weight. Have a nice day! In your note you said that you figured once you got down to a certain size, that men would be falling all over themselves to date you. Why should you be punished? Are you looking for Certified Professionals to carry out your ac repair with improved facilities and in an expert way?. Posted April 7, edited.

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I also have a big appetite for a female, but I don't eat junk food often though really have a sweet tooth. Be evenly yoked with your partner. I deemed it impossible. But friends? Dear Polly.

Do you have any kind of recommendations to assist correct this matter? I tried putting myself back into some jeans and realized Wants could not get the buttons done up for half of them. You're in! I don't hold a grudge about it, and I wouldn't reject them back down the line if they were interested because I lost weight. Yes she is right. My last boyfriend was overweight, ate terribly and hated the thought of exercise. I have always been complimented and praised by him.

  • He hoped for my future.

  • I will return quickly! Dating expert Ethan Fixell reveals what men really think about your weight and if you should lose weight for your boyfriend or dump him and move on.

  • Sending all my love, Sarah. Men and women do it.

  • Account Profile.

  • I felt like I just won the lottery. Btw I love my veggies and eat them a lot!

  • Leave a Comment Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Batya33 Posted April 7,

So instead of accepting his help, I yelled at him and told him he did not love guy friend wants me to lose weight. That is the goal. You are never welcome to mention anything about this ever again, am I clear? While I have not yet reached my goal weight, I have lost 52lbs and my body has transformed sooner than I would have imagined and apparently more noticeable than I imagined too! Well, well, well… once I got my ass right and tight, he came around and guess what?

Her advice column will appear here every Wednesday. Regardless of whether you're content guy friend wants me to lose weight your body as it is or not, I think you should leave him. You are getting bigger and bigger - its not like you are eating smart and exercising but are heavier genetics, thyroid, etc. I feel like there are two factors in a situation that we should consider. He finally acknowledged my fat. I also have a big appetite for a female, but I don't eat junk food often though really have a sweet tooth. Happiness radiates from the inside out.

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Subscribe to our newsletter. You are never welcome to mention anything about this ever again, am I clear? If he did, he would have kept silent, and married someone else.

He hoped for my future. Go to topic listing. You are getting bigger and bigger - its not like you are eating smart and wantw but are heavier genetics, thyroid, etc. Dear CeCe. Question 1: If your lawyer buddy is far less shallow than you are, why did he follow you around and bask in your hot-girl attentions when he was overweight? There are specific things you can say to people who give you unwanted comments or advice about your weight. So, is it ever okay to lose weight for a boyfriend, a girlfriend or a spouse?

Remember how it felt when you were the big girl. Figure out how you can be selfless. Wejght do keep up the great work. Thank you for this article. Follow Us. Jonathan peeks over my shoulder and asks me to share. I was certain we were going to take the relationship to the next level.

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He will look at me and my plate while I am eating. Sometimes, the best way to convince someone to make a change is to have them come to the realization on their own, perhaps with a slight nudge. Thank you for this article.

Thank you so much for this article. This guy you are talking about could be the shallow type because he's willing lise blow off your years of friendship just because you are physically attractive now. You changed and you are attractive to him now, what's the big deal? Only you have the answer as to whether you should be with him. And when we have arguments he throws that in my face.

Thank you so much for this article. With continued conversation, he may begin to understand. My major food groups were drive-thru windows, Harold's Chicken Shack, and restaurants that served things smothered in cream or cheese. Thank you for your story and for the others above!

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I am on this journey alone however, my husband is supportive but still comments about my weight etc. But smart girls know that being pretty is helpful and gives you power in this society. They cared. He claims that if I gained weight because of pregnancy, disease, etc. If it has, you know the pain, the embarrassment, and the intense anger.

  • Also: What happened to your jerk boyfriend? I recently had a similar conversation with my spouse of one year.

  • You literally lost HALF of your body mass, which is amazing, but it means that you were a lot bigger to start with. What is a friend really but someone we are not sexually attracted to?

  • I look great. Me personally, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to go out with a guy I find physically unattractive poor hygene, awful smell, obesity, taller than 6" or all of abovebut if he changed what I don't like about his appearance though obviously he cannot make himself shorter I would totally try and ask him out.

  • I always look over your site content carefully.

  • Your response to his turnaround was a little crowd-sourced.

Over the weekend he decided to comment on it, and I ho livid. I changed from a confident and curvy girl with lots of energy to an anxious and obese woman that spent her evenings on the couch with something fried, sweet, or both. Many thanks for the whole thing! This conversation is off the table. They loved me, big or small.

He then went into lawyer mode, showing me Facebook posts from his heavy days and now; the same clever Facebook status that friehd gotten 30 likes when he was overweight got over now that he was thin. I gain weight and start getting bad acne when I get depressed, have money issues, experience deaths of lived ones, get overwhelmed and stressed with work and school. As far as the men coming out of the wood works for you, they will. But Shoejunkie took the words right out of my mouth. You need to end things with him. You are allowed to live your life how you choose. I am also seeking out facts about racks and equipment cabinets, do you know the place where I could find a thing such as this?

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Yep, that's wanys. He helped me realize that I am not my weight. Lose weight, eat smart and get fit on your own accord; not due to what he wants you to do for his aesthetic preference. Finding love is hard enough. I was speaking to a good friend of mine around this and even about parking violation too.

And you know wqnts Are you tired of your ac repair in Dubai? This is Why Great Guys Are Not Choosing You kamurj posted a blog entry in Youtube1 hour ago In today's video, I share seven reasons why despite being smart, beautiful, and successful, great men are not pursuing you. Email AskPolly nymag.

The way you look now messes with their hormones. Clear editor. Hot and humid conditions are not easy fo tolerate, especially when you are not used to them. I went from an 18 to 10 and was getting way more stares after I dropped the weight than when I was fluffier. We had hours of amazing sex.

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I am 5"2 also weight never had a weight problem and know that being petite mean wantx a couple of pounds "shows". They are not sure - but they blame the stress of the pregnancy on my over 40 body. And while he liked the way I looked, it would have been a miserable life if I stayed with him. In a recent Reddit threada women posed the question: "Boyfriend suggested I lose weight because he's 'losing attraction to me'—dump him?

Now, this is not about excusing their behavior and making it ok. Guys and girls is that a fair way to look at this situation? Get our newsletter every Friday! Get the Game Changer. Add Opinion. That hit me like a ton of bricks. Hi Ashley, thank you so much for your comment and question.

Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? I would have nothing against strangers who approach more if Gguy were to lose a significant amount of weight. Thanks for every other informative blog. Then clothing and lingerie experts give wardrobe tips to boost your body image so you feel good on the inside and project confidence on the outside. Lower waist hip ratios are linked to healthier offspring while women wih higher waist hip ratios have more instances of complications during pregnancy.

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And eating a full breakfast. Now, this is not about excusing their behavior and making it ok. He tells me Guy friend wants me to lose weight should just have smoothies or a replacement shake and one meal later on instead of having 3 meals a day. While it would be better to address it directly, he may try to have his cake and eat it too, by prodding you to shed a few pounds without outright calling you out. He made no effort to be kind in the way he presented it to me.

Take this new attention for what it is. I am also lose weight out facts about racks and equipment cabinets, do you know the place where Mr could find a thing such as this? By femindelicatApril 6, in Dating Advice. Already a subscriber? And continuing not to drink diet soda which triggers me to want carbs and is awful for me anyway I stopped regular soda when I was in my teens. It'a about his attitude toward you. Get the Game Changer.

I can so relate to this after losing over pounds. And very frankly, our outside appearance guy friend wants me to lose weight a clear manifestation of what is going on with us inside. Obviously this put a lot more stress into my past year. I definitely have some belly fat but not really anything too crazy. Hi Macy, thanks for your comment. Sorry to be so bitter, but I had to learn the truth the hard way. How terrible of him?

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I still wonder sometimes but very seldomly. He tried to remind me men would flock to my beauty even if I had an arm for a nose. At 5'2 and lbs, you are overweight. We communicated practically every day for years until that point, so I was pretty shocked by his silence.

  • You will see who really loved you for you.

  • And I was almost arrogantly confident at a size 3X too, just for different reasons.

  • Figure out what will make you feel strong and smart.

  • Also: What happened to your jerk boyfriend? The higher the ratio is, the less attractive men find women.

Show All. Hi Martina, thank you so much for reaching out. Now, I will admit that I liked him, but I realized nothing would ever happen between us because he definitely did not want a big girl, and I understood that so I never made my crush known. He claims that if I gained weight because of pregnancy, disease, etc. Jonathan peeks over my shoulder and asks me to share. My husband and I had a great night but he grew cold and distant.

He helped me ot that I am not my weight. I will return quickly! However, I did not want to lose weight. I think that if you were in poor health - that you also had other medical conditions related to being overweight - and he was your spouse or life partner it would be ok to express concern about your health overall. Email By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy.

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Never mind that I was wrist deep in a Doritos bag. Would you be more likely to lose weight for a boyfriend or husband if you knew it would make you better in bed? I'm 5'7 and around Then make the best decision for your health, for your relationship and for your peace of mind. Hot lawyer and secretly hot librarian kiss, smile warmly at each other, giggle.

Just like that, we had frined resolution. Did you ever try to make a move? Think about the kind of man you want to meet. I think unless someone is pretty overweight and eats a lot of junk food, people have no right to tell them to lose weight and whatever.

Starting my weight loss journey with him made me realize without a shadow of a doubt that he does not love me for what I look like. Men also tend to like women with proportional waist to hip ratios. I am no longer overweight, I haven't been in many years. Men are visual. The place else could I get that type of info written in such an ideal way? Why should you be punished?

But friends? You always have. He has never mentioned anything before and we have been together for frienc years. I dismissed the grief I heard in his voice when I had to tell him about an emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of men that had no business handling me at all.

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He apologized and said he understood. You weigh more that me now. I workout 5 days a week and am very active, but I have put on 4kg in the last 6 months, although this was intentional as I was underweight. Either way, enjoy yourself! I am still feeling pain and have nerve damage and it prevents me from working out as much as I would like, sometimes my pelvic area just burns.

But as young PSP, I convinced myself that there was no way on Gods green earth that a guy like him would like a fat girl like me. Back from Montenegro!!! However, understanding what they meant will help you feel better. What matters most is you loving yourself — mind, body and soul. Asiah says:.

ALSO READ: Bts Playing Basketball To Lose Weight

I wouldn't do that, really. My husband and I had a great night but he grew cold and distant. He had not lose weight mentioned my weight before and always made me feel beautiful previously. That guy you wanted will be irrelevant once he wants you. He's trying to say he wants you to be healthy and he's willing to help you get there. Should I be worried about this? However, I told him that the recovery and resting has made me much happier and has made me feel better.

So the only thing that's changed is that he's feeling that seven- three- year itch. Two things: 1. I traveled all around the world; it was exhilarating but empty. Take this new attention for what it is. I can so relate to this after losing over pounds.

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I also think it's ok to have healthful food around the house, etc. Consider you hard work showing dividends besides the health benefits. I went from an 18 to 10 and was getting way more stares after I dropped the weight than when I was fluffier. Have you been dating him this whole time? More spritually grounded.

What if she gains 3 lbs tomorrow?! I consider losing weight to be one of the easiest things to change. If you don't like him, as in his personality and looks, don't date him. Hi Nikki, thanks for your comment and share. But I only bring in healthy food, good food and cook healthy food. Jonathan peeks over my shoulder and asks me to share.

Stonewalling in Marital Relationships. Now, that is some major BS. So many women have faced this dilemma. I can so relate to this after losing over pounds. Keep up the great paintings! Different perspective here, so please don't hate. Someone help me out here.

That's life, and would you want to be in a relationship with a person that fickle anyway? I had gotten to a point where I was feeling more losw in my skin than I ever have, but I feel like I just took 10 steps backwards now. Thank you so much for this article. The running brought me 20 more pounds and back to him, on New Year's Daywith more baggage than I left with. I might end up rejecting them for plenty of reasons, but just because they weren't attracted to me at the time isn't one of them.

Hi Hayley, thanks for your comment. Now, this is not about excusing their behavior and making it ok. Get Ask Polly delivered weekly. I got small and sad. It's very annoying. I had a similar issue yesterday. Yes she is right.

You ARE a different persin with different prioritiez… the old you would not have deprived herself of chocolate. However, if the life of the party seems down in the dumps for too long, you might go a little out of your way to cheer him up or get him help to get "back to normal. Should I be worried about this? Tags: advice ask polly love and war friend zone relationships rom-com cliches tropes More. More organized, more focused. You are perfect just the way you are, love.

One of my male friends is hot and he likes voluptuous women. If you decide to end things with your spouse or boyfriend. By femindelicatApril 6, in Dating Advice.

From agesI made myself go hungry, suppressing my appetite with caffeine and cigarettes. Weigut sure lose do keep up the amazing job. But it allows me to come back to reality. You can pretend that it was JUST the magic of attraction that was missing from the picture, but everything else you write suggests that you were influenced very dramatically not only by your own fickle tastes, but by also by the fickle tastes of your herd.

ALSO READ: The Yukon To Yellowstone Initiative Is A Plan To Lose Weight

Most men I dated believed my weight was a waants of me because that was the narrative I sold them. Some people eat bad, smoke, drink but because they're slim nobody body shames them. Take care of your health intelligently for the sake of your heart health. The thing that would make me reconsider the relationship would be the fact that he admitted to thinking about cheating. I still wonder sometimes but very seldomly.

Either way, enjoy yourself! I didn't even take care of myself. Successfully Subscribed! This a great topic for discussion! Email AskPolly nymag. You are totally right! So, you need to take a little pride here.

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He rolls back into town wsnts fit and successful, you swoon, and the two of you look set to live happily ever after. Then he made the comment that he was looking at me and I got bigger and he was wondering if I was going through something. Hot lawyer and secretly hot librarian kiss, smile warmly at each other, giggle.

This a great topic for discussion! My partner said he was worried about weigh weight and said he goes back and forth about if he accepts it or not. So tonight, I decided to have a bell pepper guy friend wants me to lose weight with veggies and mustard for late night snack. He had not really mentioned my weight before and always made me feel beautiful previously. I expressed to him that all he would need to do is ask if I would want to go when he goes and I would be more than happy to tag along. You changed and you are attractive to him now, what's the big deal? Hi Sarah, Thank you for this post.

Regardless of whether you're content with your body as it friwnd or not, I think you should leave him. His rebukes of my scale obsession put healthy habits in perspective. I personally know so many women with banging bodies and gorgeous faces who have shit confidence. And was that really the most passionate thing he ever said to you? Already a subscriber?

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I would say with pride, "I'm a big girl. But friends? Now we were getting somewhere.

You need to end things with him. I was speaking to a good friend of mine around this and even about wants violation too. DO NOT crash diet or do anything silly and dangerous like making yourself hurl. I changed from a confident and curvy girl with lots of energy to an anxious and obese woman that spent her evenings on the couch with something fried, sweet, or both. So, knowing that… the real thing we have to figure it is how YOU feel.

I'm healthy, fit, slim. Women can grow to become attracted to a guy over time, or see the person they are and fall for that instead of their looks. Followers 1. Should you do it? Should I be punished for not wanting the ugly duckling, then falling for the beautiful swan? Scan this list to prepare your response.

I am sending you support as you speak your needs and resist shutting down. Hi Ashley, thank you so much for your comment and question. However, understanding what they meant will help you feel better. Now, that is some major BS. I feel like there are two factors in a situation that we should consider. Blank stare. He was still my best friend.

He and she lose always palled around together, and she has secretly loved him from afar this whole time. If I'm not attracted to a girl, I won't go out with her. Confidence helps but trust me, confidence is not why these men now approach a thinner women. For background, I have a history of anorexia and 2 previous partners who gave me body shaming messages when I was younger, as well as family members who did the same. I was outraged because he had encouraged me that it was ok to let loose a bit.

Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? Regardless of whether you're content frined your body as it is or not, I think you should leave him. By the end of I was well over pounds and growing every day. If you decide to end things with your spouse or boyfriend.

I think most of you are missing the weighr. If you decide to end things with your spouse or boyfriend. Stop chasing mythical Provider Swans, and chase that dream instead. Seraphim Posted April 6, If you want to date any of them, go for it. I could have hidden out behind my weight a little longer. And increasing my plain water intake.

I even attempted to get weight loss surgery; I chickened out at the last minute. You are not responsible for his libido problems. I'm glad you don't give them a chance. So needless to say, my efforts of remaining fit in the frozen tundra of South Dakota paired with no gym time and no free time led to weight gain. He is attracted to very fit, weight-lifting type physiques.

Got a question for Polly? Pretty shallow actually. Addiction to food is not much different than being addicted to anything else. They are not sure - but they blame the stress of the pregnancy on my over 40 body.

A much-discussed phenomenon in the current age that arouses such restlessness and lack is the so-called fear of missing out, also abridged as FOMO. So he jumps out of your car and runs across six lanes of traffic, Frogger-style, to declare his love for her. You are a beautiful woman and seeking validation from male attention or lack thereof…is a most dangerous game. Got a question for Polly? Ghosted after a first date?

This a great topic for discussion! Hi Nikki, thanks for your comment and share. No one wanted you. No thanks, I don't want support transforming my life. Happiness radiates from the inside out. I was running away from my problem without breaking a sweat. In the comments below I want to know, have you experience this before?

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